You are currently viewing Autism Parenting Q&A with Emmett (S7E10)

Autism Parenting Q&A with Emmett (S7E10)

In this week’s episode, Emmett, my 15 year old autistic son, and I answer a bunch of your autism related questions. Emmett dug through a huge list of questions you folks submitted via Facebook and create a list of 10 he wanted us to talk about this week. This was a lot of fun. 🙂

Resources and Links:

  • Episode mentioned for future reference: “The Parent’s Guide to Navigating Autism and Puberty” with Dr. Whitney Casares: theautismdad.link.

Guest Expert:

Emmett Gorski is a 15-year-old autistic advocate and the son of Rob Gorski, the influential blogger and podcast host behind “The Autism Dad.” Passionate about raising awareness and understanding of autism, Emmett brings a unique, firsthand perspective to the conversation. Articulate and insightful, he has been featured on “The Autism Dad” podcast, where he discusses topics ranging from identity-first language to the daily challenges and triumphs of being autistic. With a keen interest in technology and a natural ability to connect with people, Emmett is not only a voice for autistic teens but also an inspiration for families navigating the complexities of autism.

Hosted by Rob Gorski:

Rob Gorski, a devoted single father to three incredible autistic sons, is the Founder and CEO of The Autism Dad, LLC. As a multi-award-winning blogger, podcaster, content creator, and influential social media figure for over a decade, Rob continues to share his family’s journey, providing insights, resources, and support to the autism community.

Connect with Rob by visiting theautismdad.link

Mentioned in this episode:

Learn More: Goally

The Goally tablet is focused on fostering independence in kids without the distractions of ads, social media, or potentially harmful content. Unlike Kindle and iPad tablets, Goally’s Tablet exclusively features educational apps like Khan Academy, Duolingo ABC, and Starfall, and is entirely controlled by parents. Goally’s Kids Calendar helps kids with things like task management. Kids also learn life skills through video classes and pre-made routines, enhancing their independence.

For more information, you can visit getgoally.com and use the code “theautismdad” to save 10% off your order.

Visit Goally

Learn More About Tranquil Path Financial Planning

Britta Kepf is a dedicated special needs financial planner at Tranquil Path Financial Planning, offering unbiased, tailored advice for families across the U.S. She specializes in retirement and special needs financial planning, helping families navigate government benefits and long-term needs with clarity and peace of mind. For compassionate, personalized financial guidance, contact Britta Kepf at tranquilfp.com.

Visit Tranquil Path Financial Planning

1
00:00:00,120 –> 00:00:01,690
Rob Gorski: Welcome to
The Autism Dad podcast.

2
00:00:01,990 –> 00:00:05,390
I’m Rob Gorski as a single dad
to three amazing autistic kids.

3
00:00:05,400 –> 00:00:09,170
I’ve been the go to global resource
for autism parenting since 2010 for

4
00:00:09,170 –> 00:00:12,360
the past seven seasons, this podcast
has provided parents with education,

5
00:00:12,389 –> 00:00:16,179
connection, resources, validation, and
hope this season you’ll hear from parents

6
00:00:16,180 –> 00:00:19,809
just like you, as well as my own kids
who will offer their unique perspective

7
00:00:19,810 –> 00:00:22,740
on what it’s like for them to navigate
the world is young autistic people.

8
00:00:23,070 –> 00:00:25,509
I’ll feature experts from across
various relevant fields from

9
00:00:25,509 –> 00:00:28,339
parenting and education to therapies,
nutrition, self care, and more.

10
00:00:28,630 –> 00:00:30,060
So join us each week and connect.

11
00:00:30,220 –> 00:00:32,339
with people who get it, you can
subscribe on any one of your

12
00:00:32,339 –> 00:00:33,629
favorite podcast, listening apps.

13
00:00:33,839 –> 00:00:37,470
And for more information to be a guest
or learn about sponsorship opportunities,

14
00:00:37,650 –> 00:00:40,510
please visit theautismdad.Link.

15
00:00:41,539 –> 00:00:42,420
So we’re back.

16
00:00:45,280 –> 00:00:46,240
What was that?

17
00:00:46,249 –> 00:00:48,570
That was, that was a, that was a blooper.

18
00:00:49,140 –> 00:00:50,150
Emmett Gorski: We need to keep that.

19
00:00:50,189 –> 00:00:50,569
We’ll keep it.

20
00:00:50,619 –> 00:00:50,899
Rob Gorski: Yeah.

21
00:00:50,929 –> 00:00:51,960
We should keep that.

22
00:00:52,050 –> 00:00:53,050
So we’re back.

23
00:00:53,050 –> 00:00:57,100
And, uh, this week I’m sitting down with
Emmett, my 15 year old autistic son.

24
00:00:57,160 –> 00:00:59,415
And, uh, Hello.

25
00:00:59,705 –> 00:01:00,045
There you go.

26
00:01:00,245 –> 00:01:00,685
He said hi.

27
00:01:01,105 –> 00:01:04,965
We’re, we’re going to do kind
of a Q and A episode, uh, today.

28
00:01:05,015 –> 00:01:07,275
Emmett went through Facebook and
pulled a bunch of your questions

29
00:01:07,275 –> 00:01:11,585
that you guys had asked and made a
nice little, very organized list.

30
00:01:11,735 –> 00:01:14,684
And we’re going to kind of go through them
one by one, answer them the best we can,

31
00:01:14,695 –> 00:01:17,595
give you our, you know, kind of unique
perspectives on things and go from there.

32
00:01:17,615 –> 00:01:18,065
How’s that sound?

33
00:01:18,979 –> 00:01:19,880
Uh, sounds great.

34
00:01:20,140 –> 00:01:20,479
All right.

35
00:01:20,699 –> 00:01:21,830
Do you want to go first?

36
00:01:23,060 –> 00:01:23,460
Emmett Gorski: Uh, yeah.

37
00:01:23,460 –> 00:01:25,140
It doesn’t matter what question I ask.

38
00:01:25,680 –> 00:01:28,040
Rob Gorski: Why don’t we start
at the top and work our way down?

39
00:01:28,070 –> 00:01:31,170
Because otherwise we’re gonna
just not get through any of this.

40
00:01:31,239 –> 00:01:31,659
Uh,

41
00:01:31,699 –> 00:01:33,979
Emmett Gorski: can someone outgrow autism?

42
00:01:36,499 –> 00:01:37,089
Rob Gorski: Do you want to answer that?

43
00:01:37,089 –> 00:01:37,609
Do you want me to?

44
00:01:38,489 –> 00:01:38,949
I was

45
00:01:39,459 –> 00:01:42,399
Emmett Gorski: figuring you could answer
that since I’m asking you the question.

46
00:01:42,889 –> 00:01:43,240
Rob Gorski: Okay.

47
00:01:43,669 –> 00:01:44,419
Uh, no.

48
00:01:45,009 –> 00:01:46,710
No, you do not grow out.

49
00:01:47,660 –> 00:01:48,649
Grow out?

50
00:01:48,800 –> 00:01:50,399
No, you don’t outgrow autism.

51
00:01:50,399 –> 00:01:51,219
There you go.

52
00:01:51,660 –> 00:01:52,570
I knew it was in there somewhere.

53
00:01:53,130 –> 00:01:58,160
Uh, I think what sometimes maybe
confuses people is, well A,

54
00:01:58,179 –> 00:01:59,410
sometimes people just don’t know.

55
00:02:00,059 –> 00:02:06,229
Uh, but other times I think that as kids
get older, they learn to sort of better

56
00:02:06,229 –> 00:02:11,989
navigate the world, and, and, um, you
know, they build skills that help them

57
00:02:11,990 –> 00:02:18,150
to, Either overcome or, uh, better manage
some of the challenges in their lives.

58
00:02:18,160 –> 00:02:19,550
So what, what do you, what do you think?

59
00:02:19,640 –> 00:02:23,340
Emmett Gorski: Uh, so you’re essentially
saying they don’t outgrow it.

60
00:02:23,350 –> 00:02:24,249
They adapt to

61
00:02:24,250 –> 00:02:24,580
Rob Gorski: it.

62
00:02:26,420 –> 00:02:27,840
You learn to live with what you got.

63
00:02:28,830 –> 00:02:29,210
Awesome.

64
00:02:29,300 –> 00:02:32,500
And so it’s easier, like it may on
the surface look like it’s easier

65
00:02:32,570 –> 00:02:36,120
than what it was before, but it’s,
they’re just as autistic today

66
00:02:36,120 –> 00:02:37,599
as they were when they were born.

67
00:02:37,600 –> 00:02:40,540
So good question.

68
00:02:42,090 –> 00:02:43,100
Uh, okay.

69
00:02:43,520 –> 00:02:46,080
So I’m just going to word this
one a little bit differently

70
00:02:46,080 –> 00:02:47,990
than the way that it was written,
because I think it’s a little bit.

71
00:02:48,035 –> 00:02:57,295
Uh, can dietary changes make
autistic symptoms less pronounced?

72
00:02:58,045 –> 00:02:58,515
I guess it

73
00:02:58,515 –> 00:03:00,125
Emmett Gorski: depends
on what the symptoms are.

74
00:03:00,434 –> 00:03:08,084
Uh, because if you have a kid that
can’t, is like non verbal and they

75
00:03:08,295 –> 00:03:15,080
are aggressive, uh, sort of like I
used to be, then, uh, If they have

76
00:03:15,080 –> 00:03:19,610
a stomach ache, or their leg hurts,
or their head hurts, and they can’t,

77
00:03:19,670 –> 00:03:24,430
like, say something about that, they
can get aggressive about that, or just

78
00:03:24,470 –> 00:03:27,070
something that has to do with gut health.

79
00:03:27,190 –> 00:03:34,600
I don’t know why I said leg and face,
but, uh, If their stomach hurts, and you

80
00:03:34,610 –> 00:03:39,270
give them a proper diet, and then their
stomach doesn’t hurt anymore, it’s gonna

81
00:03:39,280 –> 00:03:41,699
seem like that their symptoms are gone.

82
00:03:42,030 –> 00:03:48,860
Went away, but in all actuality, it’s just
their stomach doesn’t hurt anymore, so

83
00:03:48,860 –> 00:03:53,310
it’s not getting rid of the symptoms It’s
getting rid of the cause of a problem.

84
00:03:56,010 –> 00:03:56,820
Does that make sense?

85
00:03:57,090 –> 00:03:57,410
Yeah.

86
00:03:57,850 –> 00:03:58,090
Rob Gorski: Awesome.

87
00:03:58,100 –> 00:04:03,330
So so when it comes to things like
this I think that like anybody

88
00:04:03,330 –> 00:04:09,420
else Autistic people kids whatever
can have food sensitivities Right?

89
00:04:09,869 –> 00:04:14,630
Um, maybe they have an
intolerance to, like, lactose?

90
00:04:14,630 –> 00:04:15,589
Like, you?

91
00:04:16,079 –> 00:04:21,000
I have kids in my family right now
sitting in this room who insist on

92
00:04:21,439 –> 00:04:24,289
eating dairy products when we all know
that that’s not something he should

93
00:04:24,289 –> 00:04:26,259
be doing, and yet he does it anyways.

94
00:04:26,870 –> 00:04:27,299
If you

95
00:04:27,339 –> 00:04:32,410
Emmett Gorski: ask anyone that has a
lactose intolerance, I will guarantee you

96
00:04:32,410 –> 00:04:34,500
will not find one person that avoids it.

97
00:04:35,645 –> 00:04:36,205
Rob Gorski: No, yeah, they do.

98
00:04:36,215 –> 00:04:36,664
I’m sure they do.

99
00:04:36,685 –> 00:04:36,935
Some people do.

100
00:04:36,955 –> 00:04:38,375
Ice cream is just too

101
00:04:38,385 –> 00:04:38,855
Emmett Gorski: good

102
00:04:39,745 –> 00:04:40,295
Rob Gorski: to avoid.

103
00:04:40,815 –> 00:04:45,085
But the point is, is there’s a lot
of comorbid things that can go along

104
00:04:45,095 –> 00:04:46,415
with an autism diagnosis, right?

105
00:04:46,415 –> 00:04:48,865
And some of them are manageable.

106
00:04:49,125 –> 00:04:53,324
And if it happens to be a gut related
thing or a food sensitivity and you

107
00:04:53,325 –> 00:04:57,275
correct that food sensitivity, then
you’re alleviating the problem.

108
00:04:57,355 –> 00:05:00,155
And so maybe they’re happier or
less stressed or there’s fewer

109
00:05:00,155 –> 00:05:02,034
outbursts or less aggression.

110
00:05:02,195 –> 00:05:03,115
So, yes.

111
00:05:03,445 –> 00:05:04,705
So, yes and no, right?

112
00:05:04,834 –> 00:05:05,144
Yeah.

113
00:05:05,334 –> 00:05:05,934
Yes and no.

114
00:05:06,460 –> 00:05:06,780
There you go.

115
00:05:06,830 –> 00:05:07,600
Just depends.

116
00:05:07,890 –> 00:05:08,480
It just depends.

117
00:05:08,540 –> 00:05:08,960
Sorta.

118
00:05:09,320 –> 00:05:09,600
I guess.

119
00:05:09,620 –> 00:05:10,880
There’s, there’s a definitive answer.

120
00:05:11,200 –> 00:05:11,560
Yeah.

121
00:05:11,690 –> 00:05:15,690
Um, okay, so Oh, no, it’s your turn.

122
00:05:17,620 –> 00:05:21,780
Emmett Gorski: Uh, why have more
people been diagnosed since, say, 1990?

123
00:05:22,720 –> 00:05:24,550
Rob Gorski: Oh, like, why are more
people getting diagnosed today?

124
00:05:25,169 –> 00:05:28,395
Um You know, I don’t know
that we actually know that.

125
00:05:29,034 –> 00:05:31,715
I think, you know, there’s a couple
of different schools of thought.

126
00:05:31,805 –> 00:05:35,875
So I think one is that
people like we’re more aware.

127
00:05:35,875 –> 00:05:38,925
So more people are being evaluated, right?

128
00:05:38,925 –> 00:05:43,085
Like it’s, it’s, it’s, um, I mean,
it’s possible to get in and there’s

129
00:05:43,085 –> 00:05:46,654
wait lists and stuff like that, but
you know, if you suspect something,

130
00:05:46,654 –> 00:05:50,115
you can go to the doctor and people are
more aware, so they know what symptoms

131
00:05:50,115 –> 00:05:51,165
to look for and stuff like that.

132
00:05:51,725 –> 00:05:55,484
Um, and I think there’s another school
of thought that is, you know, if autism

133
00:05:55,484 –> 00:05:57,845
is caused by something environmental.

134
00:05:58,195 –> 00:06:03,125
Or, you know, whatever, um, that
it’s just more prominent now,

135
00:06:03,125 –> 00:06:07,545
but I think the reality is that
we’re, we’re just more aware of it.

136
00:06:08,575 –> 00:06:11,294
It’s more people are being diagnosed
because more people are being evaluated.

137
00:06:12,284 –> 00:06:14,574
I think, you know, what do I know?

138
00:06:14,574 –> 00:06:15,594
What do you think?

139
00:06:16,965 –> 00:06:18,424
Emmett Gorski: Pretty much the same thing.

140
00:06:18,494 –> 00:06:23,075
I mean, it goes with pretty
much every major diagnosis.

141
00:06:23,075 –> 00:06:30,639
I mean, we’re going to have more diagnoses
of say depression than we did in 1990.

142
00:06:31,540 –> 00:06:34,870
Because more people are getting
help, and more people, like,

143
00:06:35,860 –> 00:06:39,130
have the resources to do it.

144
00:06:39,140 –> 00:06:46,359
Because, even in like early 2000s,
there wasn’t really many resources for

145
00:06:47,839 –> 00:06:51,700
Rob Gorski: Well, I mean, there
was, but it wasn’t Not really.

146
00:06:51,710 –> 00:06:52,389
In the 2000s?

147
00:06:52,450 –> 00:06:54,070
I was treated for depression in the 2000s.

148
00:06:54,140 –> 00:06:54,810
I wasn’t talking

149
00:06:54,810 –> 00:06:56,640
Emmett Gorski: about depression,
I was talking about autism.

150
00:06:57,110 –> 00:06:59,850
Rob Gorski: Oh, well, I mean
it was, but you know, we have

151
00:06:59,850 –> 00:07:01,240
like the advent of social media.

152
00:07:01,785 –> 00:07:02,115
Right.

153
00:07:02,135 –> 00:07:05,015
And so, you know, people
are talking about it.

154
00:07:05,025 –> 00:07:08,665
There’s, you know, people talk about
symptoms online all the time and you can

155
00:07:08,675 –> 00:07:10,405
be like, Oh my gosh, my kid does this.

156
00:07:10,745 –> 00:07:12,935
And you get that thought planted
in your head and you go see your

157
00:07:12,935 –> 00:07:15,584
pediatrician and you get the evaluation
and bam, you have a diagnosis.

158
00:07:15,664 –> 00:07:15,924
You want

159
00:07:15,924 –> 00:07:16,705
Emmett Gorski: to know what it’s like?

160
00:07:16,834 –> 00:07:17,455
What is it like?

161
00:07:17,504 –> 00:07:22,115
It’s like, um, how it seems like there was
less crime in the eighties and nineties,

162
00:07:22,485 –> 00:07:26,295
but the only reason it seems like that
was because there was no social media

163
00:07:26,325 –> 00:07:28,415
and ways to communicate with each other.

164
00:07:30,275 –> 00:07:30,834
Does that make sense?

165
00:07:30,835 –> 00:07:31,495
In real time?

166
00:07:32,184 –> 00:07:32,654
Rob Gorski: Sure.

167
00:07:34,525 –> 00:07:35,295
Does that make sense?

168
00:07:35,515 –> 00:07:35,965
Yeah.

169
00:07:36,025 –> 00:07:36,865
I think that makes sense.

170
00:07:37,094 –> 00:07:39,305
I mean, like, you guys are
just asking for our opinions.

171
00:07:39,305 –> 00:07:41,575
I mean, this, you don’t, like,
tank this to the bank or anything,

172
00:07:41,575 –> 00:07:45,034
but like, I mean, I, I think, I
think it’s a combination of things.

173
00:07:45,034 –> 00:07:47,085
I think more people are
being evaluated because.

174
00:07:47,695 –> 00:07:50,405
Uh, there’s just a greater
awareness, you know, we’re,

175
00:07:50,415 –> 00:07:52,135
we’re, teachers are more aware.

176
00:07:52,135 –> 00:07:53,235
So they can point things out.

177
00:07:53,235 –> 00:07:54,385
Pediatricians are more aware.

178
00:07:54,385 –> 00:07:55,595
So they’re looking for things.

179
00:07:55,595 –> 00:07:56,534
Parents are more aware.

180
00:07:56,535 –> 00:08:00,894
There’s TV shows and movies and, you
know, organizations that are advocating.

181
00:08:00,894 –> 00:08:02,374
I mean, it’s, it’s everywhere now.

182
00:08:02,385 –> 00:08:06,455
So when you’re more aware,
you’re paying more attention.

183
00:08:06,455 –> 00:08:09,095
You get help when you, when you think
you need it, or your kid needs it.

184
00:08:09,095 –> 00:08:14,465
Um, We’re gonna, well, alright,
so, somebody asked, aren’t

185
00:08:14,465 –> 00:08:15,645
we all a little autistic?

186
00:08:16,255 –> 00:08:18,265
We’re just gonna humor them with
this one because I know a lot of

187
00:08:18,265 –> 00:08:19,665
people get offended by this question.

188
00:08:20,465 –> 00:08:23,135
Uh, no, we’re not all
just a little autistic.

189
00:08:23,365 –> 00:08:26,895
I mean, I, I think, I don’t
know why people say that.

190
00:08:27,455 –> 00:08:28,825
Maybe they just don’t know what to say.

191
00:08:29,169 –> 00:08:33,560
You know, but I, but I mean, maybe
somebody means it, you know, in a,

192
00:08:33,570 –> 00:08:35,520
in a, in a negative way at times.

193
00:08:36,010 –> 00:08:38,030
And maybe sometimes people
just don’t know what to say.

194
00:08:38,470 –> 00:08:41,230
So yeah, I mean, that, that’s what
I, that’s what I kind of think.

195
00:08:41,240 –> 00:08:43,310
So like, do you have a thought or

196
00:08:44,079 –> 00:08:48,780
Emmett Gorski: not really just, I
agree with what you said pretty much.

197
00:08:49,170 –> 00:08:49,470
Rob Gorski: Yeah.

198
00:08:49,480 –> 00:08:52,140
So if you hear that and you
get offended by it, like, I

199
00:08:52,150 –> 00:08:53,310
get why you would be offended.

200
00:08:53,310 –> 00:08:56,060
Cause maybe you feel invalidated
or like you’d being downplayed or

201
00:08:56,060 –> 00:08:58,820
whatever, but you know, sometimes
people say things because they

202
00:08:58,820 –> 00:08:59,800
just don’t know what else to say.

203
00:09:00,415 –> 00:09:04,935
And maybe they want you not to
feel so different or like whatever.

204
00:09:04,985 –> 00:09:05,655
I don’t, I don’t know.

205
00:09:05,665 –> 00:09:05,865
Yeah.

206
00:09:05,865 –> 00:09:07,344
I’ve never had somebody say that to me.

207
00:09:08,365 –> 00:09:10,074
Like you’re not autistic though.

208
00:09:10,105 –> 00:09:11,274
No, I know.

209
00:09:11,275 –> 00:09:11,694
I know that.

210
00:09:11,694 –> 00:09:15,504
But like, if, if, if you guys, if
I was like, Oh yeah, you know, my

211
00:09:15,504 –> 00:09:18,644
son is autistic and like, Oh, aren’t
we all just a little autistic and

212
00:09:18,644 –> 00:09:22,400
be like, well, no, we’re not I
mean, you either are or you aren’t.

213
00:09:22,960 –> 00:09:24,360
It’s like being pregnant or not pregnant.

214
00:09:24,370 –> 00:09:28,590
Like you either are or you aren’t,
there’s no, there’s no little pregnant.

215
00:09:28,620 –> 00:09:28,970
Yeah.

216
00:09:29,000 –> 00:09:30,750
You’re just, you are, or you aren’t.

217
00:09:30,979 –> 00:09:33,630
So you either are autistic
or you’re not autistic.

218
00:09:33,630 –> 00:09:35,909
You either have ADHD
or you don’t have ADHD.

219
00:09:35,910 –> 00:09:37,559
I mean, it’s just sort of like.

220
00:09:37,905 –> 00:09:41,585
Maybe there’s traits that people maybe
see that might be common between,

221
00:09:41,795 –> 00:09:43,675
you know, humans, but I don’t know.

222
00:09:44,374 –> 00:09:47,905
I don’t tend to get all, like, worked up
about that stuff, so, like, I really don’t

223
00:09:47,935 –> 00:09:49,265
have an opinion one way or the other.

224
00:09:50,515 –> 00:09:51,185
But, anyhow.

225
00:09:53,285 –> 00:09:57,395
Uh, you want to do the next one?

226
00:09:57,395 –> 00:09:57,894
You want me to do it?

227
00:09:58,984 –> 00:10:04,224
Emmett Gorski: Uh, I mean, I don’t know
how to answer it, so I’m gonna ask you.

228
00:10:04,395 –> 00:10:04,665
Sure.

229
00:10:04,744 –> 00:10:14,024
Um, a pediatrician had asked what
they should tell the parents of their

230
00:10:14,064 –> 00:10:16,224
patients at the time of diagnosis.

231
00:10:17,015 –> 00:10:17,415
Rob Gorski: Okay.

232
00:10:17,415 –> 00:10:20,405
So, you know, that’s a good question.

233
00:10:20,425 –> 00:10:25,274
And I, it’s, it’s nice to hear like
somebody asked that because I think there

234
00:10:25,275 –> 00:10:27,395
is a problem with the way that we do this.

235
00:10:27,395 –> 00:10:31,824
So like when you guys were diagnosed,
uh, and what do you hear from parents

236
00:10:32,254 –> 00:10:36,935
pretty much anywhere is you get the
diagnosis and then you get like a

237
00:10:36,935 –> 00:10:39,405
piece of paper, a little pamphlet or
something, and you’re kind of shoved

238
00:10:39,405 –> 00:10:42,195
out the door and told to be on your way.

239
00:10:42,825 –> 00:10:46,895
And, you know, in those first moments
when your kid is diagnosed, like parents.

240
00:10:47,505 –> 00:10:50,295
Are like their whole world implodes
because they’re not processing

241
00:10:50,295 –> 00:10:53,965
everything and it’s like they’re
emotionally vulnerable and they don’t

242
00:10:53,965 –> 00:10:58,094
know what to do They don’t have you
know, someone to talk to oftentimes.

243
00:10:58,095 –> 00:11:00,715
They don’t have a support system all
they know is that there’s a list of

244
00:11:00,715 –> 00:11:06,094
phone numbers like You know otpt speech
whatever on a piece of paper and that’s

245
00:11:06,095 –> 00:11:12,095
what they have to go Uh on and I think
what we should be doing is is letting

246
00:11:12,095 –> 00:11:18,630
parents know that You know, yes, it’s
a diagnosis Is And yes, your child may

247
00:11:18,630 –> 00:11:23,440
be struggling with this, this, this,
and this right now, but, uh, we need to

248
00:11:23,440 –> 00:11:29,429
label it so that we can identify a need
and match it with a resource, right?

249
00:11:30,020 –> 00:11:34,249
And, and just because your child isn’t
speaking right now, or just because they

250
00:11:34,259 –> 00:11:37,014
are struggling with this, this, or this,
does not mean that they’re struggling.

251
00:11:37,325 –> 00:11:41,375
They’re always going to be struggling with
this, this, and this where we are today

252
00:11:41,375 –> 00:11:46,084
is like a baseline we’re establishing
like ground zero so that we can build

253
00:11:46,094 –> 00:11:47,695
up and measure progress going forward.

254
00:11:48,185 –> 00:11:51,925
So a lot of times parents walk out
of these diagnoses feeling like

255
00:11:51,944 –> 00:11:54,145
this is what their life is going
to be for the rest of their lives.

256
00:11:54,414 –> 00:11:55,984
Like their child is
never going to progress.

257
00:11:55,985 –> 00:11:57,175
This is what it’s going to be like.

258
00:11:57,355 –> 00:11:59,655
And that’s not, that’s
almost never the case.

259
00:12:00,204 –> 00:12:05,704
Kids always make progress, you know,
big, small, Um, and I think we need

260
00:12:05,704 –> 00:12:08,504
to make sure that parents know that so
that they’re not, they’re not hopeless,

261
00:12:09,614 –> 00:12:15,224
you know, walking out the door, we get
them set up with resources and parent

262
00:12:15,224 –> 00:12:20,054
mentors and other people who have gone
through this before to help them manage

263
00:12:20,055 –> 00:12:21,394
the emotional side of this stuff.

264
00:12:21,394 –> 00:12:23,165
So that’s what I think.

265
00:12:23,904 –> 00:12:24,354
Awesome.

266
00:12:25,075 –> 00:12:25,464
Awesome.

267
00:12:25,714 –> 00:12:26,034
Awesome.

268
00:12:26,034 –> 00:12:26,185
Awesome.

269
00:12:26,464 –> 00:12:26,585
Awesome.

270
00:12:26,585 –> 00:12:26,974
Awesome.

271
00:12:27,255 –> 00:12:27,585
Okay.

272
00:12:27,585 –> 00:12:33,555
So how do you explain to non
autistic siblings about their.

273
00:12:34,490 –> 00:12:38,180
How do you explain autism
to a non autistic sibling?

274
00:12:38,480 –> 00:12:42,980
So like, you know, let’s say you
have like three kids, and one of

275
00:12:42,980 –> 00:12:45,839
those kids is autistic, how do you
explain autism to their siblings?

276
00:12:46,319 –> 00:12:47,250
I don’t know, brother and sister.

277
00:12:48,370 –> 00:12:49,000
One sec,

278
00:12:49,020 –> 00:12:50,439
Emmett Gorski: Elliot, it’s bothering me.

279
00:12:54,819 –> 00:12:55,980
Uh, what was the question

280
00:12:55,980 –> 00:12:56,290
Rob Gorski: again?

281
00:12:56,400 –> 00:12:57,230
Are you kidding me?

282
00:12:57,590 –> 00:12:57,730
Okay.

283
00:12:58,439 –> 00:13:00,230
No, no, we’re not going to cut this out.

284
00:13:00,540 –> 00:13:00,910
This is funny.

285
00:13:00,910 –> 00:13:02,869
I, I, I, yeah, no, it’s real funny.

286
00:13:04,599 –> 00:13:07,809
So let’s just say, how do you
explain autism to siblings?

287
00:13:09,699 –> 00:13:14,730
Emmett Gorski: Um, I mean, you’re
gonna, I mean, I guess it depends

288
00:13:14,730 –> 00:13:16,460
on how old the sibling is.

289
00:13:16,710 –> 00:13:16,920
Okay.

290
00:13:17,540 –> 00:13:19,949
Because you’re, he’s bothering me again.

291
00:13:19,949 –> 00:13:20,280
Ignore it.

292
00:13:20,280 –> 00:13:20,400
Okay.

293
00:13:20,400 –> 00:13:20,519
Okay.

294
00:13:20,520 –> 00:13:20,870
Okay.

295
00:13:22,319 –> 00:13:26,740
Um, I mean you’re gonna describe
it differently for different

296
00:13:26,740 –> 00:13:31,264
age groups, so let’s just assume
that I don’t know 10 to Twelve.

297
00:13:32,094 –> 00:13:32,324
Mm hmm.

298
00:13:32,454 –> 00:13:39,754
Um, you would probably say something
like, I don’t know, you’ve said this,

299
00:13:39,974 –> 00:13:46,155
like, spiel of we think differently and
act differently in certain aspects and

300
00:13:46,344 –> 00:13:50,894
deal with things differently and are
sensitive to different things and have

301
00:13:50,894 –> 00:13:53,079
different traits that other people don’t.

302
00:13:53,740 –> 00:13:54,920
And stuff like that.

303
00:13:54,990 –> 00:13:55,260
Hmm.

304
00:13:55,930 –> 00:13:59,180
I guess I can’t really go into
specifics because I don’t know

305
00:13:59,180 –> 00:14:00,800
what the specifics would be for any

306
00:14:00,800 –> 00:14:04,330
Rob Gorski: given person and you like to
be very specific and know all the facts.

307
00:14:04,350 –> 00:14:08,320
So you’re not going to like absolutely
try and extrapolate anything from that

308
00:14:08,330 –> 00:14:11,370
beyond what you know, to be definite.

309
00:14:13,120 –> 00:14:13,930
Absolutely.

310
00:14:13,950 –> 00:14:14,280
Okay.

311
00:14:14,289 –> 00:14:15,930
So I would agree with what Emmett said.

312
00:14:16,150 –> 00:14:19,670
And just to build on that a little
bit, like we just talked to the boys,

313
00:14:20,000 –> 00:14:26,944
even explaining autism to each of the
kids who are autistic in my house,

314
00:14:27,255 –> 00:14:29,725
uh, because each of them are different
from each other and trying to explain

315
00:14:29,725 –> 00:14:32,235
some of those differences and why they
do things a certain way or whatever.

316
00:14:32,665 –> 00:14:34,885
And it’s just like, you know,
everybody’s brain works different.

317
00:14:34,885 –> 00:14:37,444
Everybody does things differently
and you know, that’s okay.

318
00:14:37,444 –> 00:14:39,494
We just have to, you know, work with it.

319
00:14:40,064 –> 00:14:43,965
And, and you just do it in a non
threatening way, like, like just a

320
00:14:43,965 –> 00:14:49,345
very matter of fact and in a positive,
you know, way and, you know, validate

321
00:14:49,345 –> 00:14:50,785
frustrations and things like that.

322
00:14:51,164 –> 00:14:53,435
And, uh, maybe get a therapist.

323
00:14:54,204 –> 00:14:56,194
They’re great at helping you
navigate stuff like this.

324
00:14:56,194 –> 00:14:56,924
We have a Patty.

325
00:14:57,374 –> 00:15:03,205
Patty has been there for us for
20 years, navigating this stuff.

326
00:15:03,635 –> 00:15:04,885
So, we have a Patty.

327
00:15:05,295 –> 00:15:06,515
You should get yourself a patty.

328
00:15:06,675 –> 00:15:07,525
Good, good there.

329
00:15:07,525 –> 00:15:08,955
Emmett Gorski: You know what
Elliot interrupted us for?

330
00:15:09,005 –> 00:15:09,295
Why?

331
00:15:09,655 –> 00:15:13,694
He, uh, sent me a link to a
chocolate souffle castella cake.

332
00:15:14,195 –> 00:15:14,725
Rob Gorski: Oh my god.

333
00:15:14,955 –> 00:15:15,365
Okay.

334
00:15:15,615 –> 00:15:16,535
Next question Emmett.

335
00:15:17,045 –> 00:15:17,435
Okay.

336
00:15:17,944 –> 00:15:18,134
I

337
00:15:18,135 –> 00:15:18,404
Emmett Gorski: just

338
00:15:18,404 –> 00:15:19,155
Rob Gorski: went back to Elliot.

339
00:15:19,285 –> 00:15:21,395
This one, this one was
really important to you.

340
00:15:22,325 –> 00:15:23,265
Oh.

341
00:15:23,274 –> 00:15:25,934
So do you want to answer it or do you
want me to, do you want me to ask it?

342
00:15:25,935 –> 00:15:27,465
I don’t know how to answer it.

343
00:15:27,850 –> 00:15:29,829
Emmett Gorski: So,

344
00:15:31,190 –> 00:15:32,220
Rob Gorski: do you want
to ask the question?

345
00:15:32,830 –> 00:15:33,250
Yeah.

346
00:15:35,420 –> 00:15:39,670
Emmett Gorski: Uh, before I say this
question, um, first off, I would

347
00:15:41,139 –> 00:15:50,429
probably say that this took, like, a
lot of guts to say, um, but this person

348
00:15:50,429 –> 00:15:56,620
had asked, How can I, uh, feel happy
about my 20 year old son and think he’s

349
00:15:56,620 –> 00:15:59,510
amazing when every day is terrible?

350
00:16:02,875 –> 00:16:04,074
Rob Gorski: That’s a tough question.

351
00:16:04,754 –> 00:16:05,324
Yeah.

352
00:16:06,625 –> 00:16:11,235
And we debated about whether or
not to take this one on, but you

353
00:16:11,235 –> 00:16:18,595
specifically felt very, um, you felt
it was very important that we honor.

354
00:16:18,595 –> 00:16:19,735
At least address it.

355
00:16:19,775 –> 00:16:20,325
Address it.

356
00:16:20,325 –> 00:16:20,585
Yeah.

357
00:16:20,585 –> 00:16:24,655
Because it took a lot of
courage to, to ask that and

358
00:16:24,694 –> 00:16:27,104
there is zero judgment at all.

359
00:16:27,484 –> 00:16:35,204
Uh, and I guess without knowing
any more than that, what I can say

360
00:16:35,805 –> 00:16:38,704
is that, uh, you’re very human.

361
00:16:39,420 –> 00:16:45,170
And I think that a lot of times
this journey can be so hard

362
00:16:45,200 –> 00:16:48,580
and so exhausting and we don’t
have the support that we need.

363
00:16:48,650 –> 00:16:53,669
And, you know, sometimes the challenges
that our kids have are such that it’s,

364
00:16:54,270 –> 00:16:56,210
I mean, it takes more than what we have.

365
00:16:57,089 –> 00:17:06,540
And it’s easy to, to become more
familiar with the, the bad days and,

366
00:17:06,540 –> 00:17:09,859
and sort of get sucked into that
despair and feel like you’re drowning.

367
00:17:10,619 –> 00:17:16,139
Um, you know, I, I think that it’s,
I mean, it’s okay to not be okay.

368
00:17:16,139 –> 00:17:17,339
It’s okay to be overwhelmed.

369
00:17:17,339 –> 00:17:24,200
It’s okay to be miserable for a period
of time, but you know, you want to make

370
00:17:24,200 –> 00:17:25,480
sure that you’re taking care of yourself.

371
00:17:25,490 –> 00:17:28,050
You want to make sure that you’re
getting the support that you need

372
00:17:28,050 –> 00:17:30,850
as a parent so that you are able to.

373
00:17:31,300 –> 00:17:34,220
Be the best version of
yourself for your son.

374
00:17:34,220 –> 00:17:39,350
And, and I know that when, when you’re
asking this question, it’s not meant.

375
00:17:39,830 –> 00:17:43,990
In, in malice or, or anything
like that because there are times

376
00:17:44,040 –> 00:17:48,279
that, uh, and I’ve told my kids
this, like my kids drive me nuts.

377
00:17:48,420 –> 00:17:49,640
They drive me crazy.

378
00:17:50,140 –> 00:17:51,020
Emmett Gorski: How dare you?

379
00:17:51,069 –> 00:17:52,410
I am perfect,

380
00:17:52,740 –> 00:17:57,690
Rob Gorski: perfectly good at driving
me crazy because yeah, and, and there

381
00:17:57,690 –> 00:18:01,110
have been times where, where I felt
similar to this with some of my kids

382
00:18:01,580 –> 00:18:03,570
during like really difficult times.

383
00:18:03,600 –> 00:18:03,980
And.

384
00:18:04,975 –> 00:18:08,995
It’s just, it’s a lot for anybody
to try and deal with, especially if

385
00:18:08,995 –> 00:18:14,635
you don’t have that support, uh, or
the resources to help, uh, to help

386
00:18:14,635 –> 00:18:16,225
you navigate some of these things.

387
00:18:16,225 –> 00:18:22,064
So, you know, I guess I wouldn’t,
I wouldn’t focus so much on how

388
00:18:22,065 –> 00:18:23,264
you’re supposed to feel happy.

389
00:18:23,264 –> 00:18:27,234
I would focus on figuring out.

390
00:18:28,205 –> 00:18:33,745
Where you can find support and
therapy would, again, therapy is huge.

391
00:18:33,935 –> 00:18:34,905
It’s so important.

392
00:18:35,155 –> 00:18:36,095
Respite care.

393
00:18:36,405 –> 00:18:37,294
So important.

394
00:18:37,755 –> 00:18:42,075
Emmett Gorski: And what I would say
is, uh, especially therapy, again,

395
00:18:42,094 –> 00:18:47,664
as you said, because there’s going
to be a great deal of guilt for even

396
00:18:47,685 –> 00:18:54,165
having that thought that you can’t
think of anything like happy about.

397
00:18:54,915 –> 00:19:02,075
Your son because of how like bad the
days are and so therapy could help

398
00:19:02,075 –> 00:19:07,725
you Sort of move like through it.

399
00:19:07,854 –> 00:19:15,064
Yeah move through it or at least a
little further But again, we don’t

400
00:19:15,064 –> 00:19:18,995
know the situation Specifics and

401
00:19:19,645 –> 00:19:21,555
Rob Gorski: we don’t judge we don’t

402
00:19:21,565 –> 00:19:25,920
Emmett Gorski: judge and we can’t
make any You giant judgment calls

403
00:19:25,920 –> 00:19:30,650
without knowing what is happening
because there’s a multitude of

404
00:19:30,650 –> 00:19:32,440
situations that could be going on.

405
00:19:33,040 –> 00:19:39,990
Um, and so we’re just choosing
this as a sort of overall thing

406
00:19:40,000 –> 00:19:43,589
you can do to help yourself and try

407
00:19:43,589 –> 00:19:44,479
Rob Gorski: and move forward.

408
00:19:45,410 –> 00:19:49,540
And yeah, I, I, I think
that was well said Emmett.

409
00:19:49,580 –> 00:19:54,440
And I just want to say too, that
this doesn’t make you a bad parent.

410
00:19:54,830 –> 00:19:56,869
It doesn’t mean your kid is a bad kid.

411
00:19:57,270 –> 00:19:59,470
It means that you’re,
you’re in over your head.

412
00:20:00,100 –> 00:20:00,639
And,

413
00:20:01,390 –> 00:20:03,340
Emmett Gorski: um,
almost nothing makes you

414
00:20:03,340 –> 00:20:03,760
Rob Gorski: mad.

415
00:20:04,150 –> 00:20:05,530
Well, that, I mean, I
don’t, I don’t get mad.

416
00:20:05,530 –> 00:20:08,380
Emmett Gorski: I’ve tried
and I can’t make him mad.

417
00:20:08,920 –> 00:20:10,480
Over 15 years.

418
00:20:10,540 –> 00:20:11,290
I haven’t

419
00:20:11,679 –> 00:20:12,219
Rob Gorski: tried.

420
00:20:12,250 –> 00:20:12,520
Yeah.

421
00:20:12,554 –> 00:20:14,110
I, I don’t get, I don’t get angry.

422
00:20:14,170 –> 00:20:15,219
And so this isn’t

423
00:20:15,219 –> 00:20:18,960
Emmett Gorski: very anything
against anyone like anywhere.

424
00:20:19,200 –> 00:20:19,379
Yeah.

425
00:20:19,410 –> 00:20:20,700
My dad is.

426
00:20:23,235 –> 00:20:27,314
Rob Gorski: Yeah, that’s, we can go with
weird, but what I wanted to, I wanted to

427
00:20:27,314 –> 00:20:31,604
just say this, you know, like all joking
aside, if you’re out there listening to

428
00:20:31,604 –> 00:20:34,455
this and you’re thinking like, who would
say something about that to their kid?

429
00:20:34,845 –> 00:20:35,695
A lot of people.

430
00:20:36,115 –> 00:20:38,905
There’s a lot of people out
there who feel exactly like this.

431
00:20:39,295 –> 00:20:43,905
And we need to be very, very careful
when we judge other parents because

432
00:20:44,155 –> 00:20:45,794
autism is a very broad spectrum.

433
00:20:46,205 –> 00:20:49,754
And you know, while there are
significant challenges in my life

434
00:20:49,754 –> 00:20:51,425
with my kids, I’m very fortunate.

435
00:20:51,594 –> 00:20:51,974
Yeah.

436
00:20:52,024 –> 00:20:52,955
They’re amazing.

437
00:20:53,775 –> 00:20:54,425
And.

438
00:20:54,640 –> 00:20:57,390
And as they’ve gotten older, a lot of
those challenges have gotten easier,

439
00:20:57,390 –> 00:20:59,090
but they’re all diagnosed with autism.

440
00:20:59,520 –> 00:21:03,920
And then there are families who are
raising kids who are very high needs,

441
00:21:03,920 –> 00:21:07,090
who maybe are non speaking, who
can’t feed themselves, who can’t use

442
00:21:07,090 –> 00:21:11,820
the bathroom, who can’t do anything
without 24 hour a day, seven day a

443
00:21:12,020 –> 00:21:12,170
Emmett Gorski: week.

444
00:21:12,170 –> 00:21:14,379
Aggressive through all of that.

445
00:21:14,400 –> 00:21:14,930
Rob Gorski: Yeah.

446
00:21:14,990 –> 00:21:17,920
And, and they’re diagnosed
with the same thing, autism.

447
00:21:18,560 –> 00:21:19,260
And.

448
00:21:19,865 –> 00:21:25,254
We need to be aware that it’s not this,
you know, what you’re experiencing in

449
00:21:25,254 –> 00:21:28,445
your life does not reflect what someone
else might be experiencing, even though

450
00:21:28,445 –> 00:21:30,034
their kids have the same diagnosis.

451
00:21:30,254 –> 00:21:33,754
So it makes this whole thing
so difficult to navigate.

452
00:21:34,175 –> 00:21:37,954
So I applaud the question because I think
it took a tremendous amount of courage.

453
00:21:38,365 –> 00:21:41,655
I think there’s a lot of people out there
who are going to hear that and feel like

454
00:21:41,825 –> 00:21:43,855
I’m not alone because you are not alone.

455
00:21:44,225 –> 00:21:44,855
You’re not alone.

456
00:21:44,995 –> 00:21:45,885
Because, uh.

457
00:21:46,489 –> 00:21:51,270
Emmett Gorski: Not only is this addressing
a question that you would ask, it’s

458
00:21:51,330 –> 00:22:00,389
addressing questions that people who
felt either too guilty or too scared to

459
00:22:00,389 –> 00:22:03,739
ask that because no one would want to.

460
00:22:04,330 –> 00:22:08,429
No one wants to feel like,
what would you call it?

461
00:22:08,820 –> 00:22:10,490
Not hatred, but

462
00:22:10,520 –> 00:22:13,920
Rob Gorski: well, you feel guilt because,
you know, as a parent, you’re supposed to

463
00:22:13,940 –> 00:22:21,500
like love unconditionally, which, I mean,
we do, but you, we all have limits, right?

464
00:22:21,500 –> 00:22:22,400
We’re not super human.

465
00:22:22,679 –> 00:22:26,469
There’s, there’s this nonsense that goes
around where we talk about like, you

466
00:22:26,469 –> 00:22:28,270
know, autism warrior parents or whatever.

467
00:22:28,689 –> 00:22:32,610
And, and the reality is that we’re
all, there’s no different, like,

468
00:22:32,610 –> 00:22:33,779
I’m no different than anyone else.

469
00:22:33,800 –> 00:22:38,250
Like I have a different personality
or whatever, but I’m just as human is.

470
00:22:38,610 –> 00:22:39,620
Is anybody else?

471
00:22:39,939 –> 00:22:43,420
And, uh, you know, I struggle with things.

472
00:22:43,430 –> 00:22:44,810
I find ways to deal with it.

473
00:22:45,279 –> 00:22:49,720
I don’t have, you know, a superhuman
ability to, to do things that,

474
00:22:49,730 –> 00:22:52,219
that make this life easier for me.

475
00:22:52,889 –> 00:22:55,560
Um, and so I run out of patience.

476
00:22:55,609 –> 00:22:56,550
I run out of bandwidth.

477
00:22:56,560 –> 00:22:57,669
I run out of resources.

478
00:22:57,669 –> 00:22:59,139
I burn out, I get depressed.

479
00:22:59,149 –> 00:22:59,840
I get anxious.

480
00:22:59,870 –> 00:23:02,620
My mental health can, you
know, suffer at times.

481
00:23:02,649 –> 00:23:04,110
My physical health can suffer at times.

482
00:23:04,110 –> 00:23:09,499
And it has over the years, you
know, so beating yourself up.

483
00:23:09,615 –> 00:23:16,465
Because you’re human just doesn’t,
it’s, it’s, it’s flawed logic.

484
00:23:16,545 –> 00:23:17,775
You’re never going to be perfect.

485
00:23:17,805 –> 00:23:18,595
And that’s okay.

486
00:23:20,185 –> 00:23:21,235
You’re not supposed to be perfect.

487
00:23:21,545 –> 00:23:21,815
Yeah.

488
00:23:21,854 –> 00:23:26,354
You’re doing the best you can with a job
that often requires superhuman abilities.

489
00:23:26,395 –> 00:23:29,735
And none of us are superhuman,
you know, so thank you.

490
00:23:30,125 –> 00:23:32,865
And if you, if you happen to be listening
and you’re the one that asked this

491
00:23:32,865 –> 00:23:37,004
question, you can reach out and, you know,
we can maybe chat or something if that

492
00:23:37,004 –> 00:23:38,445
would be helpful, but you’re not alone.

493
00:23:38,955 –> 00:23:43,695
And, uh, You know, I, I
see you, we both see you.

494
00:23:43,695 –> 00:23:46,855
And I think a lot of the people out here
listening right now can, can relate.

495
00:23:47,415 –> 00:23:50,544
And, uh, thank you for, for
having the courage to ask that.

496
00:23:50,965 –> 00:23:51,345
Yeah.

497
00:23:51,955 –> 00:23:53,275
Uh, I’m glad you picked that out.

498
00:23:53,295 –> 00:23:53,685
Actually.

499
00:23:53,685 –> 00:23:57,885
That, that was a, that was a,
that was an important question.

500
00:23:59,224 –> 00:23:59,614
Yeah.

501
00:23:59,744 –> 00:24:01,785
Um, so why don’t we do this?

502
00:24:02,044 –> 00:24:04,955
Why don’t we, there were two more
questions in here that I think.

503
00:24:05,575 –> 00:24:11,075
we can refer back to previous
episodes or future or future episodes.

504
00:24:11,075 –> 00:24:11,725
Yes, correct.

505
00:24:12,265 –> 00:24:19,175
So there was one that was asking about,
uh, when to have like the sex talk with,

506
00:24:19,205 –> 00:24:22,320
you know, Just call it the birds and bees.

507
00:24:22,770 –> 00:24:23,630
Well, is that what they called it?

508
00:24:23,630 –> 00:24:24,390
I think they called it the birds and bees.

509
00:24:24,390 –> 00:24:26,810
Yeah, it’s called the birds and bees.

510
00:24:26,830 –> 00:24:28,790
So, I mean, whatever, we can just.

511
00:24:29,589 –> 00:24:31,680
Emmett Gorski: It’s the more
childish way of saying it.

512
00:24:31,709 –> 00:24:33,370
I know we’re both adults here.

513
00:24:33,959 –> 00:24:34,879
Rob Gorski: We’re not both adults.

514
00:24:34,880 –> 00:24:36,749
All right.

515
00:24:36,760 –> 00:24:38,600
So we’ll say you’re more
comfortable with the birds and bees.

516
00:24:40,225 –> 00:24:40,735
No, but

517
00:24:40,735 –> 00:24:42,795
Emmett Gorski: if you’re like,
Oh, kids might be watching this.

518
00:24:42,835 –> 00:24:44,885
You don’t just want to say the sex talk.

519
00:24:45,845 –> 00:24:47,245
I mean, I don’t know.

520
00:24:47,245 –> 00:24:49,405
Rob Gorski: I just feel use
the right words for things.

521
00:24:49,435 –> 00:24:50,005
Well, okay.

522
00:24:50,445 –> 00:24:54,485
So the question was, at what point do
I talk about the birds and the bees?

523
00:24:54,830 –> 00:24:55,580
Is that better?

524
00:24:55,640 –> 00:24:56,110
You’re welcome.

525
00:24:56,560 –> 00:24:59,160
Uh, to my autistic, uh, what?

526
00:24:59,180 –> 00:25:00,040
10 year old or something?

527
00:25:00,280 –> 00:25:00,930
10 year old son?

528
00:25:01,260 –> 00:25:04,110
Uh, 11, 11, almost 11,
almost 11 year old son.

529
00:25:04,450 –> 00:25:08,669
Um, you know, I did a whole
episode on this with Dr.

530
00:25:08,670 –> 00:25:09,400
Whitney Caceres.

531
00:25:09,420 –> 00:25:12,090
It’s the parent’s guide to
navigating autism and puberty.

532
00:25:12,430 –> 00:25:14,760
I will have it linked
in the show notes below.

533
00:25:14,780 –> 00:25:18,120
You can also go to the autism dad
dot link, click on the podcast

534
00:25:18,150 –> 00:25:22,040
button and scroll down a little bit
and you’ll find, uh, it’s pinned

535
00:25:22,060 –> 00:25:23,320
on there so you can check that out.

536
00:25:23,320 –> 00:25:24,719
We went in depth about.

537
00:25:25,199 –> 00:25:26,169
All of that stuff.

538
00:25:26,240 –> 00:25:29,050
And, uh, she’s an autism mom
as well as a pediatrician.

539
00:25:29,050 –> 00:25:31,480
And it was an amazing episode.

540
00:25:31,480 –> 00:25:33,879
I was super uncomfortable,
but I got through it.

541
00:25:33,879 –> 00:25:37,399
It was really awkward for me at
first, but it turned out really well.

542
00:25:37,679 –> 00:25:38,520
It has helped a lot of people.

543
00:25:38,520 –> 00:25:39,389
So you can check that one out.

544
00:25:39,899 –> 00:25:41,169
Um, and then what was the last.

545
00:25:41,480 –> 00:25:41,750
Oh,

546
00:25:41,750 –> 00:25:42,670
Emmett Gorski: can I ask this one?

547
00:25:42,690 –> 00:25:43,510
Yeah, yes, go ahead.

548
00:25:43,570 –> 00:25:49,650
Yeah, uh, so someone had talked about
the fact that Elliot hates the dentist.

549
00:25:49,739 –> 00:25:50,039
Yes, he does.

550
00:25:50,040 –> 00:25:51,919
And I mean, Elliot despises it.

551
00:25:51,920 –> 00:25:54,409
He hates it more than socks and sandals.

552
00:25:54,530 –> 00:25:58,520
I mean, he, it’s just the worst
thing in the world to him.

553
00:25:58,819 –> 00:25:59,460
And so Almost

554
00:25:59,460 –> 00:26:00,359
Rob Gorski: more than microfiber.

555
00:26:00,389 –> 00:26:02,900
Yeah, this, uh Well, it’s
probably more than microfiber.

556
00:26:02,900 –> 00:26:03,280
Emmett Gorski: He hates microfiber.

557
00:26:03,280 –> 00:26:08,840
Yeah, this person had asked, How do we
get him to the dentist successfully?

558
00:26:08,979 –> 00:26:14,855
And Uh, apparently my dad recorded
an episode about that and when

559
00:26:14,855 –> 00:26:15,955
you, when’s it going to air?

560
00:26:16,365 –> 00:26:16,515
Rob Gorski: Uh,

561
00:26:16,565 –> 00:26:17,475
Emmett Gorski: it, it’s soon.

562
00:26:17,815 –> 00:26:18,145
Soon.

563
00:26:18,504 –> 00:26:18,784
Soon.

564
00:26:18,915 –> 00:26:19,754
Sometime soon.

565
00:26:19,985 –> 00:26:24,075
Not a specific date, uh,
but general time span.

566
00:26:24,495 –> 00:26:30,865
Um, but honestly, the real answer and
it’s pro, it’s not going to work for

567
00:26:30,865 –> 00:26:33,305
everybody because I guarantee it won’t.

568
00:26:33,814 –> 00:26:35,424
But we just don’t tell him.

569
00:26:36,745 –> 00:26:39,624
We tell him we’re going out for
ice cream or going to the best bar.

570
00:26:41,004 –> 00:26:41,894
Rob Gorski: No we don’t.

571
00:26:42,774 –> 00:26:44,564
You can’t, you can’t, you can’t do that.

572
00:26:44,774 –> 00:26:45,224
And when

573
00:26:45,225 –> 00:26:45,634
Emmett Gorski: he asks,

574
00:26:47,854 –> 00:26:54,863
Rob Gorski: Why, why does this Oh my god,
you’re having way too much fun with this.

575
00:26:54,863 –> 00:26:58,414
This is like,

576
00:27:02,274 –> 00:27:05,674
okay, so this is like an ongoing
family kind of inside joke thing.

577
00:27:05,794 –> 00:27:09,314
Like Elliot struggles with anxiety in
the dentist and I can relate to that

578
00:27:09,315 –> 00:27:14,075
because I, I was traumatized as a kid
in a dentist, an oral surgery thing.

579
00:27:14,135 –> 00:27:17,964
And, um, I, so I get it, uh, for me.

580
00:27:17,964 –> 00:27:21,654
So I’m very, um, sensitive to this more.

581
00:27:22,405 –> 00:27:28,824
More so than, uh, some of us, but,
you know, I think it just depends.

582
00:27:29,425 –> 00:27:33,675
And, and MSRI, like I did record
an episode with, um, the pediatric

583
00:27:33,675 –> 00:27:35,784
dentist at Akron children’s hospital.

584
00:27:35,785 –> 00:27:39,484
And we talked about ways to help our
kids, uh, navigate some of these things.

585
00:27:39,485 –> 00:27:43,284
And there’s a bunch of new things that
they’re doing with sedation and, and drill

586
00:27:43,284 –> 00:27:45,514
this cavity things and stuff like that.

587
00:27:45,514 –> 00:27:48,705
So, uh, that will air shortly.

588
00:27:49,215 –> 00:27:53,625
And then, uh, you’ll be able to find
that as well at the autism dad dot link,

589
00:27:53,645 –> 00:27:58,905
click on podcast and you’ll find it
pinned in the, uh, in the thing there.

590
00:27:59,405 –> 00:27:59,675
Okay.

591
00:27:59,735 –> 00:28:00,075
Elliot.

592
00:28:00,135 –> 00:28:00,395
Okay.

593
00:28:00,625 –> 00:28:01,365
We’re recording.

594
00:28:01,365 –> 00:28:01,545
We’re

595
00:28:01,545 –> 00:28:02,215
Emmett Gorski: recording.

596
00:28:02,525 –> 00:28:04,435
And you’re talking
about me behind my back.

597
00:28:05,445 –> 00:28:07,635
It’s a Q and a about

598
00:28:08,304 –> 00:28:08,924
Rob Gorski: me.

599
00:28:08,994 –> 00:28:09,284
Okay.

600
00:28:09,314 –> 00:28:09,915
No, it’s not.

601
00:28:09,915 –> 00:28:14,585
It’s a, it was, it was, it’s somebody
had watched your reel and they said that

602
00:28:14,585 –> 00:28:17,345
they knew that you were terrified of
the dentist and how do we get you to go?

603
00:28:17,395 –> 00:28:17,765
Emmett Gorski: I.

604
00:28:18,160 –> 00:28:22,470
I had joked about the fact that you hate
the dentist more than socks and sandals,

605
00:28:22,470 –> 00:28:26,080
and we would just say, Hey Elliot,
you wanna you wanna go to Best Buy?

606
00:28:26,130 –> 00:28:32,230
And I was about to say, before I burst
out laughing, And when Elliot asks,

607
00:28:32,610 –> 00:28:35,705
Rob Gorski: Why does this Best
Buy look like a dentist’s office?

608
00:28:35,705 –> 00:28:40,909
And we just say, Oh, it’s a
mall complex, it’s in the back.

609
00:28:42,160 –> 00:28:46,240
Yeah, no, we don’t, you don’t, you don’t
ever want to lie to your kids if you can

610
00:28:46,270 –> 00:28:49,940
avoid it, obviously, because like, if we
said something, and I never did that, I

611
00:28:49,940 –> 00:28:53,249
would never lie to you about that, you
would be told, but you might not be told

612
00:28:53,249 –> 00:28:57,420
until, like, the last minute, yeah, so
you had less time to perseverate on it,

613
00:28:57,930 –> 00:29:02,610
but, you know, if you lie to your kids,
then, then, you know, especially autistic

614
00:29:02,610 –> 00:29:05,890
kids, like, they will latch onto that,
and they will sometimes never let it go.

615
00:29:05,950 –> 00:29:08,780
And if you tell them we’re going
to go get ice cream, but you

616
00:29:08,780 –> 00:29:11,420
take them to the dentist, then
they’re never going to trust you.

617
00:29:11,430 –> 00:29:12,960
Like, like our kids.

618
00:29:14,010 –> 00:29:14,339
Yeah.

619
00:29:14,339 –> 00:29:16,109
I mean, our kids can latch onto things.

620
00:29:16,360 –> 00:29:20,479
So, you know, the episode will come
out and there’s a lot of ways that you

621
00:29:20,480 –> 00:29:24,099
can work with your kids on this and
then you can work with a therapist.

622
00:29:24,590 –> 00:29:29,010
You know, that can, um, you know, help
with social stories and things like that,

623
00:29:29,010 –> 00:29:31,880
but, you know, we kind of joked around
about this and then Elliot popped his

624
00:29:31,880 –> 00:29:36,330
head in, but, uh, but yeah, so, I mean, it
was a good question, and, you know, I’ll

625
00:29:36,330 –> 00:29:40,239
let you guys know when the episode drops,
but, uh, there’s a lot of stuff that I

626
00:29:40,239 –> 00:29:43,489
learned that I wasn’t aware of that we
can do, and so now Elliot is going to be

627
00:29:43,489 –> 00:29:47,129
doing sedation dentistry, so, you know,
he’ll go, and he’ll go to sleep, and he’ll

628
00:29:47,129 –> 00:29:49,669
wake up, and it’ll all be done, and he
won’t be afraid of the dentist anymore.

629
00:29:50,740 –> 00:29:51,140
And

630
00:29:51,180 –> 00:29:53,750
Emmett Gorski: my answer
was obviously exaggerated.

631
00:29:53,760 –> 00:29:55,020
Don’t do that to your kids,

632
00:29:55,020 –> 00:29:56,899
Rob Gorski: please.

633
00:29:56,900 –> 00:29:58,780
He’s not liable for any damage.

634
00:29:58,780 –> 00:30:00,259
I was just trying

635
00:30:00,259 –> 00:30:02,860
Emmett Gorski: to make a
joke, and it was funny.

636
00:30:03,899 –> 00:30:05,849
Rob Gorski: So you’re capable
of doing that sometimes.

637
00:30:06,149 –> 00:30:07,549
Why can’t you do that more often?

638
00:30:07,760 –> 00:30:08,200
What?

639
00:30:09,080 –> 00:30:13,060
Like, you were able to kind
of like, riff on that and kind

640
00:30:13,060 –> 00:30:14,310
of like, have fun with it.

641
00:30:14,310 –> 00:30:15,390
Because it’s funny.

642
00:30:15,640 –> 00:30:17,540
Well, but it wasn’t factual.

643
00:30:17,540 –> 00:30:19,715
I Exactly.

644
00:30:19,725 –> 00:30:20,075
Okay.

645
00:30:20,105 –> 00:30:21,365
Well, anyhow.

646
00:30:21,425 –> 00:30:24,115
You know, next time we’re going to have
to just get all three of us, like, hooked

647
00:30:24,115 –> 00:30:25,795
up on this and do it all at one time.

648
00:30:26,145 –> 00:30:26,525
All right.

649
00:30:26,995 –> 00:30:30,795
On that note, uh, thank you guys very
much for taking the time to tune in.

650
00:30:30,825 –> 00:30:35,445
Emmett, thank you for putting this
together and finding these questions.

651
00:30:35,505 –> 00:30:36,155
No problem.

652
00:30:36,265 –> 00:30:36,925
I appreciate it.

653
00:30:37,424 –> 00:30:37,994
Uh.

654
00:30:38,530 –> 00:30:39,520
Keep your questions coming in.

655
00:30:39,760 –> 00:30:44,210
There’s a, there’s a thread pinned
on my Facebook page, um, where

656
00:30:44,210 –> 00:30:47,610
you can submit your questions
and, uh, you know, everything

657
00:30:47,610 –> 00:30:49,020
else can be found at theautismdad.

658
00:30:49,030 –> 00:30:49,310
link.

659
00:30:49,320 –> 00:30:53,050
You can email me or look up past episodes
or check out the marketplace with all the

660
00:30:53,050 –> 00:30:54,790
discount codes and cool stuff like that.

661
00:30:54,790 –> 00:30:56,489
So thank you very much guys.

662
00:30:56,489 –> 00:30:58,130
Have a great, uh, rest of your week.

663
00:30:58,170 –> 00:30:58,970
Have a great day.

664
00:31:00,445 –> 00:31:00,725
Bye.

665
00:31:02,505 –> 00:31:06,305
Before we go, I just wanted to take
a moment and say, thank you so much

666
00:31:06,305 –> 00:31:08,905
for taking the time to tune in and
for all the support you guys have

667
00:31:08,905 –> 00:31:10,635
shown me over the last seven seasons.

668
00:31:10,955 –> 00:31:13,785
I am so grateful and appreciative
of each and every one of you.

669
00:31:14,145 –> 00:31:17,335
If you have found this useful or you
just enjoyed listening, if you wouldn’t

670
00:31:17,345 –> 00:31:21,075
mind taking a moment to leave a review
on Apple podcast or Spotify or whatever

671
00:31:21,075 –> 00:31:23,985
app you’re listening to this on or share
it with your friends or whatever, uh,

672
00:31:24,005 –> 00:31:25,305
it’s a great way to support the show.

673
00:31:25,505 –> 00:31:25,895
Thank you.

674
00:31:25,895 –> 00:31:26,795
I really appreciate it.

675
00:31:27,065 –> 00:31:29,824
You guys can reach me
at theautismdad.Link.

676
00:31:29,844 –> 00:31:30,475
That’s the autism.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.