Holly Robinson Peete has been a friend to this show and to me for a long time. We've sat on the Tamron Hall set together, we've traded notes as autism parents for years, and somehow this was the first time she'd been on the podcast. We recorded a week before DesignCare, the HollyRod Foundation's biggest night of the year, and she was stressed in the way only somebody who has done this many times over can be.
"...this is our 27th year."
We talked about the gala, about her dad, and about why HollyRod has two halves. Then it got personal. Holly opened up about the family argument over going public with RJ's diagnosis, how Rodney came around, and what RJ's life looks like now, including the part most people never see.
This episode is presented by VizyPlan. Details at the bottom of the post.
Year 27 of DesignCare
DesignCare 2026, "Action in Motion," was Saturday, November 7 in Los Angeles. If you've never been, Holly describes it as a fashion show, a concert, soul food and peach cobbler, all in one night. This year a lot of corporate money disappeared from community causes, and she talked honestly about what that's been like. American Airlines stepped up as the title sponsor.
She walked me through this year's honorees, from Samuel L. Jackson to Ahman Green, Maureen McCormick, Teoscar Hernández and Tanner Smith from Love on the Spectrum. She also told me about the fireside chat format they use, and a young man now at MIT.
The courage to show up
One of the awards that night is the Matthew T. Robinson Courage Award. It's named for Holly's dad, Matt Robinson, the original Gordon on Sesame Street. He lived with Parkinson's, and the award is about a very specific kind of courage.
"...the courage to have so much dyskinesia going and shaking, but you still leave the house and go places and show up."
A lot of autism parents will hear themselves in that. Showing up when it's hard is most of the job.
Why HollyRod has two halves
People sometimes ask why one foundation covers both Parkinson's and autism. Holly's answer is her family. It started with her dad and Parkinson's. Autism came with RJ.
Today HollyRod runs boxing classes for people with Parkinson's, jump nights and aquarium nights for families, caregiver support, sibling support and job training. And she was clear about the money side of all of it.
"None of these things should break you and run you broke while you're trying to live and deal with the cost of living."
When the dads come around
This was the part of the conversation I'd most want a newly diagnosed family to hear. Rodney didn't want to go public about RJ's diagnosis. Holly talked about that disagreement openly, and about why so many dads process a diagnosis differently.
Rodney came around, and when he did, it mattered.
"When you dads come out, you speak on autism in a different way."
"Not to be corny, but our team needed our quarterback."
If you're a mom waiting on your partner to get there, that doesn't mean they never will. And if you're a dad who isn't there yet, you're not the only one. Plenty of dads take a while.
RJ today, and what masking costs
RJ has a job he loves and a locker room full of people who get him. That's the part people see. Holly told me about the other part.
"He has to mask all day long and he is stressed. He's got a belly full of cortisol."
"So the masking takes its toll."
I said something back that I believe all the way down. A diagnosis tells you where your kid was on one day. It doesn't tell you where they'll end up.
"When our kids are diagnosed, that's like a snapshot in time."
Then Holly said the line that stopped me.
"He just finished his 11th season and he still thinks he's going to lose his job."
Eleven seasons, and he still braces for it every day. If your kid is grown and working and you thought the worry would ease off by now, you're not alone in that. Holly also told the story of a night that took RJ weeks to get over. That one's worth hearing in her words.
Build a team
I asked Holly what she'd tell a parent who just got the diagnosis and is scared. She didn't hesitate.
"Build a team around your son and daughter, son or daughter."
And she was honest about where that team may or may not come from.
"Don't be disappointed if family doesn't get it."
"You will find your tribe and your people."
We also talked about evaluation wait lists, how much depends on which neighborhood you live in, and why health care and voting matter so much to families like ours. Near the end we got into how we first connected, and I told the story of how I met Kelly.
About Holly Robinson Peete
Holly Robinson Peete is an actress, author and advocate. With her husband, former NFL quarterback Rodney Peete, she co-founded the HollyRod Foundation, which supports families affected by autism and Parkinson's. The foundation's work includes caregiver support, sibling support, job training, boxing classes for people with Parkinson's, and family events like jump nights and aquarium nights. Their son RJ is autistic, and Holly's father, Matt Robinson, the original Gordon on Sesame Street, lived with Parkinson's. Learn more at hollyrod.org and follow @HollyRodFDN.
This episode is presented by VizyPlan
VizyPlan builds visual routines with pictures of your actual child doing each step, so the schedule looks like their life. The platform also has picture-based stories to help kids get ready for new situations, Resyna for calm in the hardest moments, and VizyAdvocate to help you prepare for IEP and 504 meetings. Resyna is not a medical device.
Try it free for a week at theautismdad.com/vizyplan-review, and use code theautismdad for your first month free.
My book
So Your Child Was Just Diagnosed with Autism: Real Talk, Support, and Next Steps from a Dad Who's Been There is out December 29, 2026 from Fair Winds Press. If your child was just diagnosed, this is your compassionate first step guide from someone who's lived it. Preorder here.
